Growing up, I very often got asked "what are you more like? your Filipino side or your Iranian side?" I never knew how to answer this so I always gave this joke that I look more Filipino but I behave more like an Iranian. That's probably because I was raised in a third place. Nigeria. But while in Nigeria, I spent my first ten years in an international school. Every year we'd be 12-15 in one classroom... which would have at least two Lebanese, one Italian, one Palestinian...then every year someone new would join, like once an Indian, then a Thai, then an Australian, next year an Egyptian, then a Colombian. Outside school, my brother and I would attend Children and Junior Youth classes where we were taught that "the earth is but one country and mankind its citizens". Now, when you grow up like this - how on earth can you identify yourself? Why does it even matter?
One identity-defining experience for me was during my year in Sheffield, England. On the first week of University, we had the chance to join student societies. First I found the Persian society and I signed up. I joined their bowling and dinner nights, which were really fun, but I never felt "Persian" enough. I was still a khareji to everyone in the group. Around that same time, I met Filipino students and we created a Filipino society (the first ever at the University of Sheffield), and yet - we all conversed in English, because every single member were Filipinos who had grown up in England. So none of us were "Filipino" enough. Then I went to a West African dinner night and all the Nigerians and Ghanaians were amused at how I was the only Asian there chopping all the jollof rice and plantain, claiming I hailed from Naija.
I then realized that I was having such a hard time trying to fit into places I thought I belonged to.
But that has never been a bad thing. It has always been an exciting little problem. I might not be able to fully relate to any where, but I can always relate a little bit to every place. That's why until this date, I still remember the poster used to read every time I entered the office of my primary/high school Principal (Ms Frances) in Port Harcourt:
But this isn't just happening to me. I've met so many of my species around the world. Traveling has become so easy for so many people, everyone is everywhere, humanity is mixing! Cultures are blending...thereby creating more and more of us 'confused' people (but happily confused). We are moving towards a universal culture. Which makes me think... our identity isn't or shouldn't be about where we come from. These are imaginary boundaries! We are made up of so much more than just the color of our skin! For example, our faith/religion. I don't believe anyone can truly call themselves "religious" or a "fanatic" because religion is something you practice through thoughts, words and action. It is so much more than just attending Church. But one's religion (or even the lack thereof) always has an impact on the way we think of or treat others (humans or animals), our attitude towards marriage or death, and is almost always the motive behind why we do a lot of what we do.
Apart from religious beliefs, a lot of people's identity is centered around political beliefs. Are you an idealist or a realist? A conservative or a liberal? Are you a feminist? Are you a nationalist? They actually have international clubs/network societies for people who identify with these views. Then for many more people, their identity is heavily tied down to their career. I'm Doctor X; Meet His Excellency X; Good morning Professor X. If not the title, then their field (I'm a human rights/animal rights/ environmental activist).
Beyond beliefs, we have identities rooted in our experiences and our relationships with others. I'm an orphan; I'm a single-mother; I'm a grand-father; I'm adopted...
At the end of the day, all these are transient; these definitions are constantly changing! You might think you've figured yourself out, but try stepping out of your comfort zone (change of work space, travel to a new country, lose a loved one etc) and you'll realize... none of us have it figured out! So can we ever know our self? Self-identification, self-knowing, self-understanding ... these are a life-long process. And the best way to get there is not to focus on the self, but to let go of it! Bahá'u'lláh says "Let your vision be world-embracing, rather than confined to your own self."
The self is pretty much me, me, me. We need to start being selfless because we won't be bringing our skin color, our CVs, our certificates to the next world. If we think of it that way, then we'll know that establishing this "ID" is futile.
The only identity we need here and now is human. Now, the question of what does it mean to be human, how does one become human... that's your quest, your personal journey.
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| "Man's glory lieth in his knowledge, his upright conduct, his praiseworthy character, his wisdom, and not in his nationality or rank." -Bahá'u'lláh |
One identity-defining experience for me was during my year in Sheffield, England. On the first week of University, we had the chance to join student societies. First I found the Persian society and I signed up. I joined their bowling and dinner nights, which were really fun, but I never felt "Persian" enough. I was still a khareji to everyone in the group. Around that same time, I met Filipino students and we created a Filipino society (the first ever at the University of Sheffield), and yet - we all conversed in English, because every single member were Filipinos who had grown up in England. So none of us were "Filipino" enough. Then I went to a West African dinner night and all the Nigerians and Ghanaians were amused at how I was the only Asian there chopping all the jollof rice and plantain, claiming I hailed from Naija.
I then realized that I was having such a hard time trying to fit into places I thought I belonged to.
But that has never been a bad thing. It has always been an exciting little problem. I might not be able to fully relate to any where, but I can always relate a little bit to every place. That's why until this date, I still remember the poster used to read every time I entered the office of my primary/high school Principal (Ms Frances) in Port Harcourt:
But this isn't just happening to me. I've met so many of my species around the world. Traveling has become so easy for so many people, everyone is everywhere, humanity is mixing! Cultures are blending...thereby creating more and more of us 'confused' people (but happily confused). We are moving towards a universal culture. Which makes me think... our identity isn't or shouldn't be about where we come from. These are imaginary boundaries! We are made up of so much more than just the color of our skin! For example, our faith/religion. I don't believe anyone can truly call themselves "religious" or a "fanatic" because religion is something you practice through thoughts, words and action. It is so much more than just attending Church. But one's religion (or even the lack thereof) always has an impact on the way we think of or treat others (humans or animals), our attitude towards marriage or death, and is almost always the motive behind why we do a lot of what we do.
Apart from religious beliefs, a lot of people's identity is centered around political beliefs. Are you an idealist or a realist? A conservative or a liberal? Are you a feminist? Are you a nationalist? They actually have international clubs/network societies for people who identify with these views. Then for many more people, their identity is heavily tied down to their career. I'm Doctor X; Meet His Excellency X; Good morning Professor X. If not the title, then their field (I'm a human rights/animal rights/ environmental activist).
Beyond beliefs, we have identities rooted in our experiences and our relationships with others. I'm an orphan; I'm a single-mother; I'm a grand-father; I'm adopted...
At the end of the day, all these are transient; these definitions are constantly changing! You might think you've figured yourself out, but try stepping out of your comfort zone (change of work space, travel to a new country, lose a loved one etc) and you'll realize... none of us have it figured out! So can we ever know our self? Self-identification, self-knowing, self-understanding ... these are a life-long process. And the best way to get there is not to focus on the self, but to let go of it! Bahá'u'lláh says "Let your vision be world-embracing, rather than confined to your own self."
The self is pretty much me, me, me. We need to start being selfless because we won't be bringing our skin color, our CVs, our certificates to the next world. If we think of it that way, then we'll know that establishing this "ID" is futile.
The only identity we need here and now is human. Now, the question of what does it mean to be human, how does one become human... that's your quest, your personal journey.
"The souls who sacrifice self, become detached from the imperfections of the realm of man and free from the shackles of this ephemeral world, assuredly the splendors of the rays of divine union shall shine in their hearts and the eternal paradise
they shall find ideal relationships, union and happiness."
-Abdu'l-Bahá