I'm a typical human being... my life is really simple, believe me.
I do normal things and I have normal feelings.
But every single time I have to introduce myself to someone, I'm reminded that no...I'm not normal. I'm really complicated. What was my Dad thinking when he left Iran to meet my Mom in the Philippines then bring her to Nigeria to live and multiply?
Did they ever consider the possibilities of their future children facing identity crises?!
Dear Mom and Dad,
When normal people meet each other, it's a simple hello, how are you. But this is what TYPICALLY happens to me when I introduce myself to people when I'm in:
Nigeria
"Oyibo! Chinese! Nihaw"
"I'm not Chinese and I don't understand what you just said"
"Lebanese!"
"No, I'm from the Philippines"
"Ohh Filipin! Manny Pacquiao!"
"And Iran"
"Iran! Who is Philippine, who is from Iran?"
"My Mom is from the Philippines and my Dad is from Iran"
"Ehh, so you are from Iran naaw!"
"I'm both, but I feel more Filipino because I've spent more time there than in Iran."
"Noo! you are from wherever your Father is from!"
"Excuse me?"
"Ehn, that's how it is naa, you hail from your Father land!"
Iran
"Afghani? Chini? Malaysi?"
"No, Filipini"
"What's your name?"
"Farzaneh"
*person laughs and pronounces my name the real Persian way Faar-Zaw-Nhe*
"Your name is Persian"
"Yes, pedaram Irani" (my Dad is Iranian)
"oh wooww! Farsi baladi?" (do you speak Farsi)
"kam" (a little)
"Kam!! bah bahhh!" (wow oh my goodness woow oh God amazing wow)
*I never hear the end of how exciting it is that I speak "kam" Farsi*
England
"Hi"
"Hi"
"What's your name"
"Farzaneh"
"Nice to meet you, Farzaneh. Are you an international student?"
"Yes, from the Philippines"
"The Philippines. Is that..."
"South East Asia....in the Pacific"
"Oh how lovely!"
*awkward silence*
the Philippines
-What's your name?
-Farzaneh
-Farz...
-Far...za...neh
-Where are you from?
-I'm half Filipino, half Iranian.
-Cool, but you grew up here or in Iran?
*I break into a huge smile and say Nigeria*
-Nigeria?! Why Nigeria?
*I'm still smiling because of how confused they look right now*
-That's where my parents got married and where they work
-Who's Filipino? Your mom?
-Yes
-And your Dad's Iranian. So you're Muslim?
-No, I'm a Baha'i
-Baha'i?
-B-A-H-A apostrophe I (because I know they're thinking of bahay kubo)
-What's Baha'i?
*I sit up straight, because I know this is going to be a long conversation. I start with how it's an independent religion, the three tenets, then I entertain tons of questions*.
*10 minutes later*
-Do you have siblings?
-One brother
-How old?
-Two years younger
-Where is he? is he studying?
*I start growing impatient. This is followed by questions about where I live, what my parents do, how old I am, and my relationship status...and I'm left wondering if they're going to create a Wikipedia page for me *
Still in the Philippines - the shorter version (when I'm not in the mood to talk)
-What's your name?
-Farzaneh.
-Far...
-Far- Za- Neh
-Are you Filipino?
-Yep
-But you grew up here or?
-No, but I live here now.
-Oh so where did you grow up?
-*sigh....hoping this doesn't drag on* Nigeria
-Nigeria!? but how come you're not...
-black?
-yeah
-I'm not from there, I just grew up there.
-Oh.
*oh to you too!*
India
I feel like I finally discovered my true identity in India. Strangers didn't question my strangeness because I looked like a typical North-Easterner - most people thought I was from Manipur!
Just when I thought my life was complicated enough, I suddenly discovered that ... I'm Indian... deep inside.
JAI HIND!!!
*mind blown!*
Mom and Dad,
