This conversation happened over dinner a few days ago:
Me: Afshin, have you been preparing for your OJT interview?
Afshin: What's there to prepare?
Me: Google sample questions. Sometimes they ask the weirdest things.
Afshin: Oh yeah, a few years ago I was at an interview and there was another candidate beside me. The interviewer asked "If you were a shoe, what shoe would you be?"
Me: No way! So what was your answer?
Afshin: Actually, the other girl answered first. She said "If I were a shoe, I'd be high heels because when I wear high heels I become taller than everyone else, so I can go up up higher than everyone else" Then I burst laughing at her answer.
Me: You laughed?!
Afshin: Yes, then the interviewer looked at me and said "Mr Foroozan...can you please share with us what's so funny?"
Me: Oh my goodness!
Afshin: I told him "High heels is a good answer, but her reasons... she could have said high heels help you stand confidently, not that it makes you taller or higher than everyone else. Why would you want to enter a company and be higher than everyone else? Then what will happen when your heel breaks? You will fall and how will you get back up?"
Me: Afshin! In front of the girl!? You're so mean! I'm sure they'll all hate you for sounding cocky.
Afshin: Then he asked me what shoe I'd be,
and I said a high top, because "high tops are in fashion now. They are very comfortable yet stylish. High tops not only protect your ankles, but they keep you warm in the winter and looking cool in the summer".
Me: Oh my God!! That answer was insane! I was once asked if I'm an introvert or an extrovert and I said I'm both because sometimes I can be intro, sometimes extrovert and the results keep changing each time I take those tests, but the interviewer told me to really pick just one. Just because I'm not a night or a party person, I said introvert and it wasn't until much later that I realized how much weight that had on the position she hired me for.
Later...
Me: During the team building activity in Cordon last week, the facilitator asked everyone "If you were a sea creature, what would you be?" We had to pick something close to our personality. The girl beside me joked that she'd be a starfish because she's so clingy to people. I didn't think I'd have to answer because I was pretty much there to help the facilitator and not really participate in the games but suddenly they called me to answer, and all I could come up with was "I'm probably an octopus because I'm a multitasker."
Afshin: Also octopus are smart.
Me: Thank you!
Afshin: Male octopus die soon after mating, then female octopus die soon after hatching the eggs. The moms die because when they hatch the egg, they protect the egg from predators and they never leave the eggs or even eat so eventually they become exhausted and starved. Baby octopi basically grow up without parents, so they learn to adapt and survive on their own. That's why they're so smart.
Me: Someone on the team said tilapia, because "pang masa" (for the masses). Another person said whale because she thinks she's fat. This guy said he'd be a shrimp because on the outside he looks tough and hard but inside he's soft. They had really fun answers. I don't know that many sea creatures, but I should have mentioned a fish that's found all over the world. When the General Manager introduced me to the team, he said "Ms. Far, from far far away, from Nigeria and Iran". So I wanted a sea creature that's found everywhere.
Afshin and Mom: a catfish!
Me: They're found everywhere?
Afshin: Yes because they are fresh and salt water creatures.
Mom: Also the salmon, right?
Afshin: Salmon are the travelers.
Me: How do you know all this?
Afshin: I watch documentaries.
Mom: Me too, I've seen videos. Salmons are mostly found in rivers but at a certain time they migrate to the seas.
Afshin: Yes, at some point they all swim out to the sea, then they go back to the river. It's amazing how they know when it's time to migrate. Haven't you seen videos of salmon flying or jumping out of the rivers?
*I just stared at him*
Me: How about you guys? What sea creature are you?
Mom: A shrimp. Because I go with the flow.
Me and Afshin: hahaha!
Me: Mom should be Dory from finding nemo because she's so forgetful.
Afshin: How about me?
Me: I don't know... a sword fish? that big fat round fish with a double chin.
Afshin: Seriously?
Me: No, I don't know. something ugly.
Afshin: I'd be a goldfish.
Me: Don't say it's coz you think you're a golden boy (roll eyes).
Afshin: No, goldfish grow according to the size of their container. When you put a goldfish in a small container, it stays small, but when it's in a larger container, they grow bigger. So that's how I am as a person. If I'm in a limited environment, I don't grow, but if my environment allows me to grow, I reach my full potential.
Me: Jeez, you have the best answers.
Afshin: Mom, if me and Farzaneh were a fish, what would we be?
Me: Mom, what's that fish that if you put two of them in a jar, they fight until one dies?
Afshin: Fighter fish.
Me: Yeah, that's us.